In one of my earlier workplaces, two men were so connected that they would complete each other’s sentences. They would often refer to themselves as each other’s handbag,” says Smita Shetty Kapoor, CEO and co-founder of Kelp, an HR company. Many such work relationships are lately seen in the corporate spaces and signal a new trend of ‘’work spouses.’’
Who’s a Work Spouse?
A colleague you share a deep, non-romantic connection with is called a ‘‘work spouse’’. This relationship is often formed through shared experiences, mutual understanding, and a similar outlook on work. In many ways, a work spouse can be a trusted confidant—someone who offers emotional support, gives constructive feedback, and provides camaraderie during long work hours. Pew Research found last year that relationships with coworkers and bosses were the most positive aspects of many people’s roles, leading to higher overall job fulfilment.
Shetty-Kapoor reflects on the growing importance of these relationships in the workplace. “In a typical workday, employees spend between 12-18 hours with each other, making it natural to form close connections.”
Having a work spouse can provide a valuable support system. It can be someone who understands the challenges you face, the work dynamics, and personalities involved, which can significantly contribute to mental wellness. For many, a work spouse feels like free therapy. This concept isn’t new; it’s simply been given a name.
The Forever Friend
‘A recent study revealed that seven in ten office workers claim to have a “work spouse.” These terms reflect a close, platonic, and often emotionally supportive relationship between two colleagues. However, experts caution that labelling these friendships as “work marriages”—whether publicly or between themselves—can signal connotations that might lead to conflicts and misunderstandings.
The Risks
A common understanding of spouse involves exclusivity—that’s the moral imperative associated with that term. So, using the term in a workplace then has a bunch of connotations of exclusivity and special privilege. “The main risk lies in the blurring of professional and personal boundaries. Picture this: Shane and Sky are the quintessential work spouses.
However, when Sky was promoted and changed teams, their time together decreased, triggering attention-seeking behaviour from Shane. Constant hovering, calling, and interrupting meetings started impacting their work, and finally Sky had to report Shane to HR. The boundaries of work and relationship blurred, and what was a happy relationship became a workplace divorce,” explains Kapoor.
Managing Personal Impact
While work spouses can provide vital support in the workplace, their influence doesn’t always remain confined to the office. These close relationships can sometimes create challenges in personal lives, particularly when real-life partners feel insecure or uncomfortable about the closeness between colleagues. In some cases, partners may view these relationships as a threat, which can lead to tension outside of work. Experts suggest the need for clear communication and boundary-setting to maintain a healthy work environment.
Signs You Have a Work Spouse
● Frequent communication
● They are your go-to people
● Mutual trust and support
● Spending time together
● Defending each other
